Questioning

What does it mean to be questioning?

 

A person is questioning if they are uncertain of their sexuality or gender identity. It does not necessarily mean that they are not heterosexual or cisgender, although they may at some point understand their identity to not be heterosexual or cisgender.

 

What do I do?

 

If you feel comfortable doing so, seek out resources. Talking to a counselor, hotline, or friend in confidence may help you work out your feelings. If you feel comfortable, become involved in the community. Being involved doesn’t necessarily mean you’re LGBTQQIA. Read and watch LGBTQIA media. If you know anyone who is LGBTQQIA, it may be useful to talk to them about their coming out experience.

 

Remember, there is not one way to express that you are LGBTQIA, so don’t feel like you can’t identify as such just because you don’t fit a certain stereotype.

 

How do I know if I’m LGBTQQIA?

 

Some people realize that they have attraction to people of the same gender. Others realize that they feel uncom- fortable presenting as a certain gender. However, everyone has a unique process of self-discovery, and your pro- cess may be different. There are people who have sexual contact with someone of the same gender, but identify as straight.

 

I’ve been questioning for a while, but I’m still not sure.

 

That’s ok. There is no need to rush to label yourself. Try not to let it stress you out too much; if you take on an identity label and later feel that it doesn’t fit you, there is nothing wrong with changing what you identify as.

 

Who should I tell?

 

It is most important to be honest with yourself. Don’t feel pressure to come out to everybody, but telling sup- portive friends and family may help. If you are concerned that they won’t be supportive, try to gage their accep- tance level before you come out. Some ways to do this are mentioning something about LGBTQIA politics or media and gaging their reactions.